Tuesday, March 17, 2015

First Day at School

So its actually day two
Ella Marie is one and a half and on Monday she started her education journey.
Unlike other countries, Sweden once again is incredibly pedagogic when it comes to starting day care.
We the parents have to be at the school with our little ones for at least three days.. we shadow them and make sure that the transition isnt abrupt.

I have worked in preschools so i've been on the other side of the fence,
I know that the best thing a parent can do really is just be there and be boring,
let the teachers find a connection with our babies, let them play with you little one, help feed them, rock them to sleep..
let them find each other in the safety and assurance that mummy or daddy or both are right there in the background.
Many have been asking me how ellas first day went,
I find it hard to five a straight answer,
the truth is it went super well,
and thats what makes it super hard

I prayed that she would feel at home and build that connection with her teachers
that she would feel comfortable enough to nap there from the first day,
my little one can be a major introvert, she can be shy and not say a word for hours if she feels uncomfortable,
i was worried, so worried

well it went great, she played all day
she interacted with the other kids
she cuddled her teachers,
she ate by herself
she feel asleep in teachers arms, woke up and wouldn't even let daddy hold her
she basically had the best time and didnt cry once

When they cut her umbilical cord an invisible cord remained
that cord was stretched even further this week,
she waved goodbye at me without a hint of sadness
she didn't need mummy or daddys cuddles to find solace
she was confident and not my little baby anymore..
sigh
talk about bitter sweet

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Happy Birthday to Me

Thank you for the birthday wishes..
I love birthdays,
the older i get the harder it gets to celebrate,
on my birthday i worked from 9.30 to 1800 and then went to a meeting immediately till 2000ish..got home at 2130 totally deadbeat,
I am however not complaining,
apart from missing my daughter beyond belief i am totally fine.
i still have so much to be grateful for.
its all perspective, just the day before my birthday a young friend, a kind heart passed away in his sleep..
he wasnt even 35.

we are alive
we are healthy
we are in love
we are kind
we are free
and we together
we can dance in our pyjamas
we can laugh through our phones
we can reach for our dreams

so happy birthday to me,
cheers with a glass of water
im so blessed and happy to be right here.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

In two weeks

I looked at the calender this morning and my heart skipped a beat.
It wasnt the usual birthday excitement.
I realised we had two more weeks and thats it.
In two weeks someone new would wipe her tears
In two weeks she would play hide and i wouldn't seek
In two weeks she'll fight her first battles
In two weeks she'll grow a little more confidence
In two weeks her hair will be pulled,
She'll throw her food everywhere
She'll laugh in someones arms
She'll discover new adventures
She'll find a new besty
In two weeks neither mum or dad will always be there..
In two weeks her world will get a little wider
In two weeks our cocoon of safety will be cracked
Im two weeks the reality of the world slithers in
In two weeks my baby starts preschool.

As if she knew what mama knows.she looked at us today. Bundled her confidence ..and started walking. 

All by herself

Thursday, January 22, 2015

I love her afro too

Ive neglected my blog..my apologies..ive had the itch to write. .so so many times but the time to write escapes me..

Like most brown people i know. .im a little hair obssesed although i would rather call myself a hair conscious person instead lol..
well i do my little ones hair weekly in plaits or puffs of some sort... i realised that on a regular basis people tell me how cute the style is but "wouldnt it be cute/fun to have it in an afro"

Hmmmmm....(hold the thought)

I also notice a significant number of brown skinned little ones often of mixed cultural heritage with their hair out in an afro thats all tangled and matted that their hair is a breath away from natural locks!
This makes me worry..
So i decided to blog about it..
I braid my Ellas hair not because i dont like the afro but because her hair needs protecting.  Its sweden. .hello..its freezing and there is zero moisture in the hair.
Unlike European hair , my/our hair gets dry and brittle with time.  Hence protective styling such as braids and extentions.
Where little ones are concerned its always best to
-wash at least once a week
-use the right conditioner
-detangle with a wide tooth comb or fingers whilst still damp and wet dripping with conditioner
-rinse..then oil and towel dry a little.

This is when i braid the hair using loombands as mini elastics:)

So lets spread the love..if you know a parent who needs a little inside info on how to care for their little ones curls..send them my blog link!:)

Monday, January 5, 2015

Happy New Year!!!

Well i planned on blogging on New Years Day but you know everything on the mummy clock runs a late so here we are ..it's the 5th of Jan 2015 ..HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!

I have to say thank you to all my readers, i checked this morning , and the stats say I have had over 8,000 reads which is mind blowing. I started blogging as my own therapy , as a way to make sense of my mummyhood and for other new mummys out there. Thank you for sharing this virtual conversation with me.

As I think back on 2015 ,its been lovely. I dont know how you celebrated but we ushered in the New year in bed, with popcorn and a disney movie of some sort.. Ella between my hubby and I, we were happy as can be. To add to the silliness, the champagne we planned on drinking on new years eve is still in the fridge unopened. I think there is no better way to explain just how much my life has changed and how wonderful it has become.

I was thinking of the way everything comes back around so , im thinking my party days will surely return heheh.. come to think of it.. tops that stop at your midrif are back, pointy nails, rings on thumbs and little fingers ..all totally the fashion of my teenage years thats come back around :D there is hope yet for mummy me!!

I have lots more to discuss but we will save that for our next post..

Kisses and Hugs
xoxoxo

Friday, December 12, 2014

Its time to act..maternal health/ maternal care

Maternal care is something i cared about before being a mother. Now that ive gone through the process i realise how vulnerable one is during that precious time when life is created. In The Gambia which is one of my homes, too ofthen the maternal care is horrific and the babies are lost to complications that would not be life threatening in other countries.

Throughout the years I have heard from people very close to me of thepoor conditions in maternal care in the Gambia and today was one such day... Today my girlfriend posted the message below and it hit a raw nerve.

It is time we do something to help this situation, i'm looking for ideas, donations and clever positive suggestions.. any organisations already working in the field? thank you.

If you are in Gambia, let me know and those of us abroad. im sure we can set up partnerships that can help.

Here is the msg : " My colleague gave birth on Tuesday. The baby arrived prematurely, about 10 weeks early. Yesterday the baby died at the EFSTH. I went to visit my colleague and the story she told of her time at EFSTH was horrendous.

*During the two days she was there, six (6) babies dies.

*She had to share a bed with another mother.

*Power outages causing the incubators to lose power for as much as 5 minutes. It was during one of these outages that her baby's condition turned for the worse.

*And the mother load: Three (3) babies in one incubator.

People it's real. I will really appreciate you all coming on board to help organize this run."

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

why teach..

I just realized something pretty major . This rather important thing that may explain why I’ve been struggling so much at work. ..so here it is : The children we teach don’t know why they are in school. simple That may sound strange but hear me out . I am one of those weird people you meet who always preaches about education and humanitarian causes left, right and center. I come from a long line of educators and I have seen the transformative powers access to an education can bring an individual and a community alike. I have met the poorest people in mud huts who battled for education for their children so that they may have the luxury of brick houses and electricity. I know that education has saved the lives of so many children who may otherwise have become child laborers or child brides. I know that through scholarships, perseverance and hard work my parents and grand parents generations produced us, PhD candidates, doctors, writers, engineers, teachers out of the desolation of post colonialism in Africa. I wont go further but lets just say I teach because I believe it’s the gift that will transform . It will make better social beings who can nurture integration and peace in their societies. It provides knowledge about the ever changing world around us and the skills to live it in it. Education is a Right that most of the world are still fighting for, for their children. Right here , in my lovely Sweden, Education is accessible to all ( or the majority at least). When I walk into my classroom , I realized that the children expect a fun experience and that’s it. I’ve asked a few of my kids these past few months why they think they have to be in school and most of them replied “ to learn stuff” or “to have fun”. This realization explains to a great extent, why learning takes a backseat in my everyday routine at work. The value of education is somehow lost over here which makes it very hard for someone like me to teach. Just think about it yourself when you were in primary school, you may have hated school, but you knew what school meant for you and for your parents. Well at least where I came from at least..