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Hi!, I started this blog quite selfishly and yet not. I had just become a new mum and I needed a space to air out my thoughts. I’ve neve...

May 26, 2015

Babyfro Routine!

I’ve been meaning to do this for a while..
I wanted to share our step by step routine for sorting out little Ella’s hair..
I feel like I need a disclaimer though..
Hair of African Origin is diverse.
Basically think rainforest..
think leaves..
see how many different ones exist..
that’s about as much different textures of hair we have..

therefore..what works for us in terms of steps can only be guidelines for you to then leap on this baby-fro-learning curve..

first the tools:

you need a wide tooth comb,
you also need a shampoo and conditioner
and we use loom bands to keep our braids and styles in place
and patience..lots and lots of it

These are the combs i use


and these are our products

I've tried alot of brands and to be honest the tresemme from ICA works brilliantly on mine and her hair!

you also need a plan.. my lil one is not patient so shampoo day is bath day..she gets all her toys in the bath with her, at times the laptop is on site to play a lil movie to distract her or even grandma on Skype to chat with her so I can get the hair clean.
be flexible!
we live in Sweden so its not really dusty ,so we wash once a week unless she’s had an very artistic day at school where there is glitter/glue/feathers or other assortments to be found in her curls

depending on the type of week she has had, I generally wash with conditioner ..lather and rinse
then put conditioner in the hair, lather and then give her ,her sponge bath to allow the conditioner to seep into her curls and all the way down to the scalp.

I then use the wide tooth comb to slowly detangle section by section. once that is done I take a normal come and run it through just to see if there are any knots hidden in there..

then we rinse..(not her favorite moment)

if she’s having lots of fun in the bath I towel dry her hair , whilst she’s still in the tub and begin styling.
I feel that with the lack of moisture and daycare combo, leaving her curls out leads to lice, breakage or worse..play-doh-accesories so we try and put it in a little style for the week.

I begin by oiling it with some coconut oil and add a little curling crème
the oil is from the health store and the creme from my local 'african shop'
then I part the hair and braid..
sometimes I start a braid in the tub and finish in the living room..
sometimes I have to wait until she is in her baby chair having dinner to braid
sometimes she braids on my lap
sometimes I braid running around behind her as she dances..
we are flexible..
but we are consistent so she knows the routine..

I make sure that she gets to touch my hair and comb it too in the weekends..
I blow out my curls and let her love it.
we try not to spend a fortune or let it feel like a chore which is why they is often music on and dancing during hair moments..

that’s our routine for learning to love and care for our curls
feel free to get in touch if you have questions!!

Healthcare

Many..Many..many people have asked me with bewilderment
" why did you ever leave London..for Stockholm!!"

I know it sounds a little crazy...unlike most of the migrants/expats/foreigners I meet, there wasn’t
anything really pushing us away...or a job offer.... we simply liked Sweden and what it had to offer for family life.
That’s not to say life is perfect in Sweden, in fact I have a draft blog post where I’m ranting about how I’m exasperated and ready to leave because of the job situation but in typical Emily - fashion..I wrote it and decided to pause and think on it..

this weekend I was reminded of one of the main reasons why I moved to Sweden.
Healthcare.. I know its lame but its everything..
on Friday my daughter was sent home from daycare with a fever..by Saturday she had awful rashes and a fever..
by Saturday night she was screaming and barely recognized us..
I called the online medical service and was told to see a dr. asap... so I called the emergency services
and they came right over , reassured us and spoke to a Dr directly who told us to let her sleep that night because she’s most likely too contagious for the ER.

Today its Tuesday, she’s seen a dr..she had Impetigo and chicken pox..she will be fine.
Shes home for the week.
Im home for the week because I could contaminate the kids are school tool.
This time I spend at home will be paid as ‘sick leave’ at 80 percent of my normal salary.

Everyone we dealt with was professional and calm . The system worked impeccably and all of it was free.
Even with my loss of income , I still get a really good deal..

As a parent when your child is sick you need a system that works and one that’s affordable..
the fact that these services around my child are free are worth every blistering winter we face.

I remember feeling the same way when I came home with my baby after my C-section.
how could it be that I had impeccable service, 6 medical professionals with me , major surgery, stayed in hospital for 5 days and paid absolutely nothing.

Natural we pay higher taxes, but we also get higher wages
and yes there’s discrimination and racism and all sorts
but when you're a mom something’s are simply worth much more.

May 19, 2015

Mummy Goes Out

There are many firsts in a mummys life,
I feel brand new sometimes, like everything I experienced before was nothing but a shadow of my true experiences now.
This one I’m proud of my first night out without baby.
It was my brothers’ birthday AND we were celebrating his PhD
a totally fabulous event and there was no way I could miss out.
To make matters better, baby was in the BEST care in our home with my mum, dad, uncles, aunts and cousins!
She was surrounded by love and care.
So I walked away with very little goodbyes and had a great night out.
You know the kind were you’re dancing so much people aren’t sure if you were truly sober or not: p
I honestly had a wonderful time
However
I missed my baby in the car
I missed her when we got home
I missed her in shower
I missed her in bed..
in fact I barely slept

To make matters worse my breasts clearly missed her too because they HURT LIKE HELL.
Ella is almost 9 months old and she eats solids all day long, but she is still breastfeeding for comfort and habit.
AND I have never been away from her for more than 3/4 hours max (and that was only one time).
I know it sounds excessive, but I live in Sweden where I am privileged to have one year of paid maternity leave so I truly spend all my time with this little girl of mine, as I know it is precious..
anyhoo the bottom line is , it went well really well I know it was important developmentally and emotionally.
Nonetheless I’m still feeling that guilt that I’ve only felt as a mother.
I’ve always lived my life with no regrets but with the birth of my child I’ve developed a sense of possessiveness and insecurities around her which I’m happy to report are totally normal.
My midwife has assured me that our need to protect our kids is heightened to the max leaving mummies feeling like aggressive mama tigresses! lol
The first few days was a whirlwind of emotion and now it’s completely different because baby doesn’t just need me, she wants me..she will cling and clamour for me and pull her lip with her big round eyes pulling every single guilty string of your heart.

May 11, 2015

The 'Tummy Bug'

yup..the Tummy Bug is capitalised because it is that major,,
since we moved to sweden ive been around parents and kids and have heard of this 'Tummy Bug',
kids apparently are super contagious, they have runny poo and throw up everything they eat..add a fever to the mix and you have our current situation..,
to make things even more spectacular there is literally no medication to give,,
you just have to ride it out..swedish style ,
,
my little girl was sent home on friday from daycare because she had a fever on friday... ,
from friday to today monday evening we have: ,
- changed the sheets on my bed 7 times,
- she has thrown up every single bit of food that has touched her lips,
- she has done so many number twos that i lost count..,
- i dont know if its the african in me, but when all this eewyness happens i am literally stuck to her so her and I got to shower together quite a few times,
- i slept 10 hours this weekend and showed up for work like a totally functioning zombie,


Im hoping things begin to cool off and stop before i loose my mind, but ive been thinking of all the love involved in this weekend.,
because i tell you, nothing else will propel you towards projectile vomit quite like love. all this time stuck to me, including out baths together has given us skin to skin contact that we havent had since her first weeks.,
it is beautiful ,
Feels wierd that seeing her so ill and tired and honestly eewy has brought my love to the fore even more. ,
before she fell asleep tonight she but her little arms around my kneck and with a tight embrace she gave me a kiss right on the lips.. shes only done that once before,( the first and last time i spent a whole day and night away from her)