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Hi!, I started this blog quite selfishly and yet not. I had just become a new mum and I needed a space to air out my thoughts. I’ve neve...

Jan 24, 2017

The night before we became four 4⃣

I wrote this on the 28th December right after confirming with hospital that they wanted me to come in the next day to deliver our son.... I walked into my room,  sat down at the dresser, took that picture and let the words convey my emotions.. 

"Here we are the night before three becomes four. 
Thanks to another planned c section I know that by tomorrow I will hold you in my arms dear son, 
its been such mixed emotions knowing it is Ella's final day as our only child, knowing the 9 month wait is finally over, 

Unlike your sister, this pregnancy was all but easy... I've felt my energy and body strain and work hard , harder than before.. 

Unlike your sister I know your sex, I know how much I will worry and I know the unknown is yet to come. 

Gone is the confidence of that first pregnancy,
I have learnt well enough that I 
know NOTHING at all,  

Each of you, born with thier strength,  thier energy, 
thier life, 
And I cant wait to see what that will be, 

I can't wait to see what you look like, 
.. to love you so hard... even though I don't honestly know yet how my love will stretch to include another being.. 
And yet I know it will 
I remember when your sister was born feeling such fierce love surfacing that it scared me a little, 

I am totally ready for more! 

On this last night of ours,
I feel you sitting so close to my heart, refusing to turn or budge I want to remember, 
I want to document this wonderful feeling of loving you and having you all to myself for a few more hours, 
I love you my son
welcome to our family"