Jun 15, 2016

My Daughters Father

Since becoming a mother I have become even more aware of the unbalance between mothers and fathers and I don’t mean in the division of labor
I am talking about the perspectives surrounding both roles

There are major cultural and social variables but still most of the comments I’ve experienced/heard or read have one thing in common - the general assumption that dads are useless!

Ive had this conversation so many times and we often get to the point were the ladies nod  and say "well he just doesnt do as much" which i can totally understand. 
There is no detailed job description which details who does what and indeed I don't think there should be.
I do feel like its a conversation that needs to be had more often and more openly. 
Expectations can be met if their are communicated but also having expectations often motivates your partner to live up them them.

I’ve seen a million memes, blogs and comments celebrating when dads do the simple most basic act for their child
I do realize that there is a history in terms of expectation for men to work and women to care for children and I also know that I am of the naive personality type but it never seems to amaze me, that people are amazed that dads dance with their children,
that they do their daughters and sons hair,
that dads can successfully change nappies as swiftly as mummies
that dads stay at home whilst mums or other dads work
that dads cook baby meals !
generally that dads function as dads should.

Those of you who follow my blog know I live in Sweden were traditional gender roles seem to be almost extinct, (at least in some communities)
so I am surprised how often people marvel at my daughters father.
yes he is my husband but I think he fulfils a pretty awesome role as dad of the house so he should bare the title as well!

From the day we brought our girl into the world he has been an equal parent with me,
I think the only thing I’ve done that he hasn’t, is pretty much breastfeeding.
He spends as much time at home with her, if not more

When I’m on the bus or in our local store, people literally stop me to say “ahh that’s your daughter , I always see her with her dad and I wondered where the mother was.."
I find it hilarious because no one would see me with Ella and ask me where her daddy is..
I know so many awesome dads and dads to be ,
I sincerely hope the tide will change and they get the recognition they deserve
that absent, disappointing fathers don’t tarnish the image for all the pretty amazing dads out there.
We need to expect more from dads, and give them the credit due when it comes to parenting.

I follow this blog called The Daddy Diaries which chronicles 2 friends who share their experiences as dads. I can totally relate given that I started blogging to chronicle my motherhood experiences too!
Consider all the forums and blogs and platforms that women have to discuss parenting, now try and find something similar for dads.
Its pretty disappointing to say the least.

I guess what I’m trying to put across without ignoring the fact that there are some parents who don’t live up to exceptions is that we should do all in our power to EMPOWER dads.
Fatherhood is a journey that is new and terrifying, fulfilling and exhausting, magical and rewarding and everyone who gets support through it , benefits.

I am incredibly proud of my daughter’s father and I love that she knows that both of her parents stand on equal ground. she is almost three and still mixes up our names
sometimes I’m daddy sometimes he's mummy and I like that because they are simply labels to represent what we truly are: parents who love her more than anything.

Last night she woke up around 2am and called for us with one breath "daddymama, mamadaddy"- she wasn’t calling for us both, she didn’t have preference , she wanted a parent, to come kiss the nightmare away.
and that makes me happy.

The Roots is celebrating fatherhood and i've really enjoyed thier articles.. click here to check them out

You should also really check out The Daddy Diaries blog too!

Finally, below are some pics of Ella and her Daddy - doing what they do everyday😊😊🌟🌟🌟😎⚽️πŸŽΎπŸ“πŸŠπŸΎπŸš΄πŸΎπŸŽΉ